Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I want to fling myself into the sun
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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