so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
