i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
