I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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