were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
