You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
