Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
