Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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