The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
