Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
