I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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