wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
