i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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