I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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