pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
