Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
