I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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