Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
