Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
