He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
