soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
How naked do you want me to be?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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