What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you will always have a special place in my vag
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize