i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
