i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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