Everything about him screamed your future.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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