He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
420 ftw
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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