East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
