Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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