Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
