Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
