ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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