Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
