Whod you bang
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
honey bunches of taint.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize