yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
