you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
