he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize