dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
