Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
