Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
