we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
