yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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