bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
