If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
