I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm like, not good at living.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
