Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
