I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
