i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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