I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
