We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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