There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
