She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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