his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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