Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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