Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i think my tv is drunk
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
