I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize