i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
