Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
