Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
