Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
