he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
