Me too!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
