He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
operation have a gay friend backfired
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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