K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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