YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
