It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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