I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
