He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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